Why It's OK to Indulge Yourself

You’re stuck in traffic on the way to your son’s soccer game, your kids won’t quit bickering, and the supermarket line is absurdly long. All the little things that go wrong each day can add up to one stressed-out parent.

“Women don’t realize they’re living under chronic stress, because it has become the new normal,” says psychologist Gregory Jantz, Ph.D., founder of The Center, Inc., A Place of Hope, a mental-health treatment facility in Edmonds, Wash., and author of How to De-Stress Your Life. All that stress does more than make you irritable and tired. “Chronic stress can lead to constant headaches, insomnia and depression,” says Jantz.

To make things worse, when moms get frazzled, healthy me-time behaviors that can make you feel better, such as exercising and sleep, are often the first to go.

So indulge in me time for once … without guilt. Try these six easy strategies; science has proven they’re good for your body. Your family will thank you!

It’s OK to … take a nap.

If you’re exhausted, a simple snooze can help you recharge. When researchers from the Université Libre de Bruxelles in Belgium followed sleep-restricted men, they found that their levels of the stress hormone cortisol dropped immediately after they took a nap. So sometimes, give yourself permission to put the kids in front of the TV and take a 30-minute power nap. But be picky about the show; Jantz recommends educational programs on the National Geographic Channel or the Discovery Channel. And don’t rely on the television to be your regular babysitter.

It’s OK to … skip your workout.

Exercise is linked to an abundance of health benefits: decreased risk of diabetes and heart disease, reduced feelings of depression and anxiety, weight maintenance, lower risk of some cancers and more. “There’s no doubt that being physically active is good for you, but once in a while, getting extra rest can refresh your mind and body,” says Stephen Ball, Ph.D., associate professor of nutrition and exercise at the University of Missouri. So if you just can’t squeeze your 30-minute jog or yoga DVD into a jam-packed day, give yourself a break.

Worried that you’ll stall your progress? Taking a day or two off won’t set you back in terms of your fitness level. “It’s OK to miss a workout,” says Ball.

It’s OK to … go on a date.  

If you can’t remember the last time you and your husband went out without the kids, it’s time to initiate a weekly date night. “At home, it’s easy to create a system of dysfunction and stress, so it’s healthy to get out and have fun with your spouse,” says Jantz.

Get started by shaking up your usual Friday-night routine. Instead of a movie, plan an activity that encourages communication. Make a reservation at a cool new restaurant (go for Thai or Indian food instead of your usual Italian), sign up for a dance lesson, or take a cooking class.

Finally, follow these hard-and-fast rules to ensure your night out is quality time for two: 1) Don’t talk about the kids, and 2) Don’t talk about work.

It’s OK to … turn on the TV.

“A silly show that makes you smile can be a simple pleasure,” says Jantz. Laughter increases your pulse, stimulates circulation, increases oxygen intake and helps you relax, according to the American Heart Association. It also triggers the release of feel-good hormones called endorphins.

Laughter reduces stress as well. A recent study in the journal Psychosomatic Medicine tracked 18 people while they watched a 30-minute clip from a funny movie or a stressful movie. Researchers discovered that laughter decreased levels of the stress hormone cortisol.

It’s easy to help your whole family reap the health benefits of laughter: Rent a funny movie, take turns reading from a joke book before dinner, or play practical jokes, suggests Jantz.

It’s OK to … dish up a scoop of ice cream.

Making your favorite treats off-limits fosters an unhealthy relationship with food -- and it sets you up to overeat eventually. You don’t have to eat healthy all the time, says Ball. “One good strategy is to eat healthfully most days, but allow yourself one free day per week in which you eat what you want,” he says.

If you prefer, you can simply make your indulgence healthier: Try nonfat frozen yogurt instead of full-fat ice cream, reach for an ice-cream sandwich (instant portion control), or add fresh berries for a dose of vitamins and antioxidants. For a creamy snack that packs serious protein, have low-fat Greek yogurt drizzled with honey.

It’s OK to … talk on the phone.

“Talking to a trustworthy, supportive friend is a great way to combat stress,” says Jantz. “Ideally, you should have at least three people like this in your inner circle.” In a review published in the journal Psychiatry, when researchers looked at dozens of studies on the connection between social networks and well-being, they found that people with social support tend to bounce back better from stressful situations. Just be careful that chat sessions don’t turn into gripe sessions. “It should not be a whining and complaining session where you talk negatively about your spouse and your kids,” says Jantz.

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7 Yoga Stretches That Improve Your Health

Looking for an easy way to decompress, get more energy and fend off winter colds -- without leaving the house? Just say "Om." A recent study in Psychosomatic Medicine shows that women who regularly practice yoga have lower levels of inflammation and exhibit reduced physical responses to stress. What's more, researchers in India found that the practice of yoga also helps the body resist the damaging impact that stress has on the immune system. Translation: Practicing the exercise regularly may fend off sniffles and sneezes. Meanwhile, another study from Boston University shows that yoga can raise levels of a mood-boosting brain chemical called GABA.

Yoga's deep breathing and deliberate postures calm the nervous system and stimulate immunity, explain researchers. But you don't have to twist into a pretzel to reap these benefits. Just 15 minutes a day of light stretching and focused breathing can do your body good, says Terra Gold, co-director of the Yoga and the Healing Sciences yoga teacher training program at Loyola Marymount University and co-founder of the wellness group Yoga Doctors in Los Angeles.

We asked Gold to put together an immunity-boosting daily routine for yogis and non-yogis of all levels."These postures are designed to stimulate key points for the lungs, kidneys and digestive tract," she says."They'll assist in lowering stress hormones that compromise the immune system, stimulate the lymphatic system to help rid toxins from the body and help bring oxygenated blood to various organs to ensure optimal function." What's more, certain poses can relieve an accumulation of mucus in the sinuses or respiratory system, says Gold, which eases sniffles and helps you breathe better. All you need to do the workout is a few blankets and a belt.

Extended Side Easy Pose
Sit with your spine in a neutral position and both sit bones on the floor. Extend your right hand to the right as you raise the left arm toward the sky. Stretch the spine, reaching through the fingertips. Keep your torso facing forward -- without twisting the spine -- and maintain a natural, steady breath. Repeat on the other side. Gold says this activates immunity points in the arm, hand and torso.


Bridge
Lying with your face up, knees bent and arms at your sides, keep the legs hip-distance apart and the ankles under the knees. On an inhale, lift arms overhead and press firmly into the floor with your feet, raising your hips. On an exhale, lower arms and hips back down. Repeat 8 to 10 times, slowly. On the last repetition, hold in the upward position and breathe deeply for one minute (or as long as you can).


Reclining Bound Angle Pose
Sit in front of a folded blanket, knees bent and feet together. Loop a belt around your lower back, over the legs, and under your feet. Exhale and recline, lengthening the buttocks, sacrum and tailbone toward the heels. Rest arms at your sides. Hold for up to 10 minutes. Gold says this expands the chest, assists lymphatic drainage and stimulates immune points for the lungs, spine and low back.


Plow Pose
Lie with two blankets folded evenly under your upper back. Press down firmly, using leverage to slowly kick your legs overhead. Lower your legs one at a time, ensuring that your neck is comfortable. Roll onto your shoulder blades and interlock your fingers. Touch the floor with your feet and press to lift your hips higher. (If you can't touch your feet down, bend your knees by your ears to distribute weight away from your neck.)


Warrior 2 Pose
Step your feet about 4 feet apart. Raise your arms parallel to the floor and turn your left foot in slightly and your right foot out to the right. Align the right heel with the center arch of the left foot. Exhale and bend your right knee over the right ankle, so the shin is perpendicular to the floor. Inhale and straighten. Repeat six to eight times, holding the last bend for up to a minute. Reverse feet and repeat.


Half Lord of the Fishes Pose
Sitting on a blanket, slide your right foot under your left leg. Cross your left knee over your right. Press your left hand on the floor behind you, and your right arm on the outside of your left thigh. Inhale and lengthen your spine. Exhale and twist to the left, hooking the right elbow against the outer left thigh. Twist and lengthen for 30 seconds to a minute. Repeat to the right.


Skull Brightener Breath
This practice alternates short, explosive exhalations with longer, passive inhalations. Start by focusing on your lower belly, between the pelvis and the belly button. Quickly contract the belly, pushing a burst of air out of the lungs. Then release the contraction so the belly "rebounds" to suck air in. Do eight to 10 times, slowly at first. Begin with 25 cycles per practice and work up to 100 or more.

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Good Friends: The Key to Good Health

Friends are good for all kinds of things -- a girls' night out, late-night chats and shopping trips, to name a few. But did you know they're also good for your health? A study published in The Journal of Psychology: Interdisciplinary and Applied showed a strong link between supportive social networks and healthy behaviors like eating well and exercising.  

Friendships are particularly important to women, says Irene S. Levine, professor of psychiatry at the New York University School of Medicine and author of Best Friends Forever: Surviving a Breakup with Your Best Friend."Female friendships are extremely vital to a woman's well-being, because women help each other unload emotions, which is a real stress buster," says Levine.

Whether you're already surrounded by friends or you're looking to build better relationships, Levine offers these tips for nurturing your female friendships -- and your health:

1. Make friendship a priority.
Most women are so busy that it may feel self-indulgent to spend time on friendships. But it's important to make friends a priority in your life, says Levine."Know that [friendships] will ultimately make you a better mother, wife, daughter and person, because friendships make you feel more fulfilled," she says.

2. Be there.
While technologies like email and Facebook have made keeping in touch with friends easier, there's just no substitute for face time."Be there for your friend in the way you would want her to be there for you," says Levine. If your friend's nervous about going in for a mammogram, for instance, offer to go with her. Or if she needs a dress for an important occasion, take her shopping.

3. Celebrate together.
Remember the special events in each others' lives, whether it's a birthday, an important anniversary, a new job or a promotion."It makes for a more special relationship when you can celebrate each other's important events and successes," advises Levine.

4. Communicate.
When something's wrong, talk about it. Levine suggests you open the door for conversation and avoid pretending nothing's wrong. Just like in a good marriage, friends need to keep the lines of communication open. Let her know that you're there to talk whenever she needs you.

5. Develop rituals.
Patterns and regularity can help create a rich friendship, says Levine. Make your relationships stick by developing rituals that create lasting memories, like a regular girls' night out (or in!), a girlfriends' getaway, a lunch every Friday or a drink every Thursday night. Put it on your calendar -- and keep that time sacred.

6. Forgive and forget.
Every relationship requires give and take. You're two different people, and your friend may not always think the way you do or say the right thing. Recognizing that no one is perfect and being willing and able to apologize when you make a mistake is crucial."Apologize sooner rather than later so bad feelings don't have a chance to build up," says Levine."And don't keep score: The best friendships are those where people truly want to give and take in an unconditional way." 

7. What if you have trouble making friends?
If you're shy or introverted, you might have a hard time finding good friends. Start by engaging in activities you enjoy, suggests Levine. Join a gym or a book club, or volunteer for a community service group."Put yourself in a place where you'll see the same people over and over," says Levine."Show openness with simple things like smiling and showing interest in the other person. Just don't be too aggressive or reveal or ask for too much information too soon: Relationships need time to grow."

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Mom's Best Backup Plan

Ten years ago, Kristine Breese found herself in a situation that turned out to be a wake-up call in more ways than one. At the age of 35, the mother of two went into cardiac arrest at her home in Carlsbad, Calif. And in that moment, Breese's first thought was not what you would expect."I thought ‘Who's going to give the kids dinner?’" she says. She was even thinking about the mac 'n' cheese dinners in the freezer as the paramedics wheeled her to the ambulance. 

Thankfully, Breese survived her ordeal, regained her health and today she is a successful writer and public speaker. But one thing she'll never forget is the fact that every mom needs a reliable backup plan to cover those unexpected moments when mom is not available. 

Whether it's a result of a surgery, as it was for Breese, or something more common such as a cold or flu, if you need time to rest and recover, make sure your backup plan is in place ahead of time. Check out these strategies and be prepared.

1. Learn to ask for help.
Some moms understandably have trouble asking for help."Moms push it to the limit," says Breese, author of Cereal for Dinner: Strategies, Shortcuts, and Sanity for Moms Battling Illness."When women start feeling bad, they don't cut down on their activities or turn to others. Things can quickly spiral out of control."  Develop the skill of asking for help before you're in a crisis. For example, when someone offers to carry your groceries to the car, let them."You may feel silly at first. We're in that post-feminist generation where we're not supposed to let someone open the door for us, but asking for help doesn't have to be a statement about who you are as a woman," says Breese.

2. Set up a network of helpers.
You need to have a list of people to call when you need assistance. Set up a way to contact everyone quickly and easily. For instance, create an email list or Facebook group specifically for this purpose. Or set up a telephone tree where you call the first person on the list, they call the next person and so on. Think of it as your own personal "Emergency Response System." Then all you have to do is send one message or make one call to say, "Can you help me out and pick up my kids from school this afternoon? I have been flat on my back all day."

3. Ask for specific kinds of help.
Designate people to do specific tasks. For instance, ask a neighbor in advance if she'd be OK to cover carpool duties if you're in a pinch. Ask a girlfriend if she'd be willing to buy some groceries if you just can't manage a trip to the market. You can even get the kids involved, in an age-appropriate way."Kids really respond when they can help," says Breese, who suggests making a game of it when you need help from younger kids. For instance, give them a "Do Not Disturb" sign to hang on your bedroom door or have them set a timer so they know how long mommy needs to rest.

4. Have a replacement on call.
You need several reliable baby sitters to call on. If you don't have any, try finding someone through a baby-sitting agency such as the Web site Sittercity, or a local church or college. Interview candidates and check references before you need them. Ideally, your baby sitters are familiar with your family and your home, and they have flexible schedules so they're likely to be available in an emergency. If your budget allows, set aside some cash and contacts for extra conveniences like a cleaning service or takeout meals when you really are down for the count.

5. Leave a paper trail.
Before you get sick, pretend you're going on vacation and write down everything a caregiver would need to know while you're away. Include essential phone numbers, information about kids' activities and schedules, medications, allergies, and other relevant details. Ideally, your regular baby sitters already know the drill, but it's good to have written instructions for reference. Keep this information in one place (try the fridge or the kitchen table), and be sure to update it often.

6. Stock your freezer.
While you're healthy, find some freezer-friendly recipes. Double them each time you cook, and freeze half. Or keep some commercially prepared meals on hand that a caregiver could easily pop in the oven or microwave.

7. Have confidence in your family.
Realize that things won't fall apart just because you're not directing the scenes. Sure, dad may not cut the crust off the bread when he packs lunches, and he may send Susie to school without brushing her hair. What's important is that he's getting the kids to school. If you make home-cooked meals but grandma takes the kids out for chicken nuggets, no permanent damage done. It's OK if your kids watch a bit (or even a lot) more TV while you're ill. Just remember the overarching goal: Giving mom a break so you can rest and rejuvenate.

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Simple Steps to Happiness

With the holidays done and spring months away, it can feel like there’s not much to smile about these days. But shaking off those winter blues may be as easy as making a few simple changes in your daily routine. To help you start smiling, we combed through the latest scientific research -- and came up with five research-backed moves to boost your mood. C’mon, get happy!

1. Step into the sun.
When it’s chilly out, spending time outside may be the last thing you want to do. But soaking up the sun’s rays can have a big impact on your mood, reveals a study published in the journal Lancet. Researchers found that brains produce more of the mood-boosting hormone serotonin on sunny days.

To ramp up your mental wellness, open your shades first thing in the morning. Bundle up and head on short walks outside or, on frigid days, find the sunniest spot in your home or office.

2. Snack on fruits and veggies.
On any given day, most of us only get three servings of produce. Not only can bumping up your intake reduce your risk of chronic illnesses, such as heart disease and obesity, but it may also improve your mood. The more produce you eat, the happier you are -- with seven servings being the ideal amount, according to a study of 80,000 people published in the journal Social Indicators Research.

To sneak more servings into your day, incorporate fruit into your snacks. Have an apple or pear with cheese or nut butter; baby carrots or cucumber slices with hummus; or berries with low-fat yogurt. Or slip some veggies into your main dishes: Your family won’t even notice spinach blended into smoothies; cauliflower puree added to mashed potatoes or mac n’ cheese; or diced carrots, mushrooms and squash mixed into spaghetti sauce.

3. Decorate with greenery.
These days, the view from your window may be gray skies and barren trees. To brighten up your space -- and your outlook -- place a few pots with ferns, flowers or succulents on your windowsill. Researchers from the University College London found that greenery can ease stress and lift a mood, and a separate Harvard study revealed that seeing flowers in the morning bring on happier days.

Have a brown thumb? Tack up a picture of your favorite outdoor scene at your desk. The British researchers showed that simply gazing at greenery could have a mood-improving benefit.

4. Break a sweat.
It’s no secret that exercise makes you feel better. But ramping up your workout may have bigger rewards for your mental wellness. According to a study from England’s Manchester Metropolitan University, people who did vigorous workouts experienced a bigger mood improvement than those who did a moderate one -- and both were happier than their couch potato counterparts.

No gym? Try our sweat-worthy at-home workout. You’ll be grinning after just 15 minutes.

5. Consider a light box.
If you can’t shake your sluggish mood, you may want to consider a light box. These devices are specifically designed to mimic the sun’s bright rays. They can be bought over-the-counter or with a doctor’s prescription; it’s generally recommended to switch on the box for at least half an hour every morning.

Remember: If you’re experiencing a severe and/or persistent case of the blues, always consult your health care provider.

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